Starbucks Dilemma

While standing in line the other day @ Starbucks I was confronted with a “should I or shouldn’t I” dilemma.

After dropping off a CD at Skyline High School, I stopped by one of 27 Starbucks on the Sammamish Plateau. This particular Starbucks is a couple blocks away from Columbia Athletic Club, and I use the word “club” loosely, considering I could join this “exclusive” organization.  As Groucho Marx said, “I wouldn’t join any club that would have someone like me as a member”.  I digress. Back on track.  I’m in line with two gals in front of me who appeared to be coming from the club.    A good guess considering they were wearing work out gear, glistening with sweat, quite fit, and craving caffeine, not that I was looking or anything.

The woman ordering, we’ll call her Sweaty Woman A (SWA), while paying, drops, what I thought was a headband or bandana.  The chivalrous thing for me to do would have been to politely walk around Sweaty Woman B (SWB), and pick up said article of clothing.  I refrained for fear of losing my place in line.  SWA pays and walks around the large counter to wait for her skinny, no foam, triple shot, extra hot whatever.  SWB steps forward, looks down and begins laughing.  She then leans over the counter and whispers to the cashier.  The cashier laughs and whispers something to a co-worker. 10 seconds later the co-worker is rounding the counter with a broom and dust pan to sweep up (now my light comes on) what is, not a headband or bandana but, a lovely wadded up multicolored thong.   

Which leads me to a multitude of questions: Is it common for women to carry sweaty thongs around in their purses?  What would the reaction of SWA have been if I picked up her undergarment?  Better yet, what would I have done if I, while holding one of Victoria Secret’s finest, realized I’m now clutching a woman’s thong while standing in line in a busy coffee shop?  What would SWB think of me doing an end around her to pick up a thong? “What a perv”! I used to call, what are now called flip flops, thongs.  When did the name change?

Considering I live in a household with three women I’ve washed and folded about 60,000 pairs of women’s underwear.  I am no stranger to underwear.  I should have been more perceptive from the beginning realizing what I was looking at but it’s sort of like seeing a chicken running through a movie theatre; you just don’t expect to see it.  Which leads to more questions: why fold women’s underwear, especially thongs?  It’s not as if they come in pairs and you have to match them.  Folding adds no value to their appearance. Do we fold jock straps?  Can I skip this delicate procedure and move on to more trying articles of clothing to fold, like sweatshirts and towels?

Did I do the right thing by avoiding the situation and merrily go on my way and order my grande drip?  I’m guessing yes, but in the unlikely event this comes up again, may have to, at a minimum, go for the gold and pick up what falls from “Grace”…or whatever her name may be.